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Monday, June 13, 2011

More nonline dating

For a brief moment in time, my thoughts about online dating started to turn around.  Maybe they weren't all freaks and weirdos.  I came across some seemingly normal guys and a few of them asked me out.  Then they all canceled.

I no longer have a date tonight.  Because guess what?  He canceled!  That’s two guys to cancel within three days.  Am I now qualified to drink wine straight out of the bottle?

I no longer have a date on Friday night.  Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, “Hey boys, cancel your plans with me!”  I gave the last two guys second and third chances, not his time. No more Mrs. Nice bucket.  I’m also throwing a pity party and anyone who’s ever been canceled on is invited! 

After that it went back to the usual freaks and weirdos and I developed the phrase "nonline dating".

Dear guy on POF, while I do “have self esteam, and not be a phsyco” and I also “hate liein ass people, flaky ass people 2” I think that maybe, like so many others who have emailed me, you should consider using spell check and grammar check before pressing the Send button.  Hmm?

I have proof that vampires exist.  And they’re online dating.  Here’s an email one sent to me, copied and pasted:  “if I ever meet U in Person…I’ll Bite U on Yo Neck…& I’ll Drink all that Lusty-Sluty Blood of Urz…”  The icing on the cake?  His ‘about me’ section is the lyrics from Celine Dion’s All By Myself, he’s 21 and his listed profession is Hu$tler.  I’m thinking I should go for this guy.  Thoughts?

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