Polite Aussie, Irish guy and Kinda Hot Aussie congratulated us on making it in the picture. They were all going to dinner and said that we should probably hang back but they would meet up with us after. We were okay with that; we had already exceeded our expectations for the day. Rochelle and Jade stayed for dinner and we had cake for Rochelle’s birthday, but they decided not to wait for the Aussies to get back.
My family had gone out to dinner so it was just me and my laptop on the lanai. It was a gorgeous, romantic night. All the tiki torches were lit because it was after sunset and there was barely a breeze. If it were a movie, Kinda Hot Aussie would show up and we would kiss.
I was watching for the Aussies to come back while trying not to look like I was watching, and as it happens, one of the times I wasn’t watching, I heard my name. It was Kinda Hot Aussie. I guess every once in a while, movie-like things happen. He took a seat on the low wall outside the villa.
I walked up to him as sexily as I could (which probably looked more like regular walking and less like slow motion walking with a fan blowing my hair) and casually said, “Hi. How was dinner?”
He said, “It was great. What have you girls been doing?” I told him about dinner and cake for Rochelle’s birthday and that they left. He said, “That’s too bad, Polite Aussie was pretty taken with Jade.”
I said, “Most guys are.”
He said, “I think she’s bad news for him. She seems like a bad girl. Are you a bad girl?”
I said, “Nah, I’m a good girl.”
He put his hand on my hip and pulled me towards him and said, “Well then, come over here and do something bad.” Pretty cheesy, but you have to understand, everything he says is in an Australian accent! He could’ve said, “I like to fart through a tube” and I would've gushed a little.
While we were kissing, my family came back from dinner. Kinda Hot Aussie suggested we go for a walk on the beach. I told the fam where I was going and walked with him to the beach. Our version of going for a walk was finding a secluded place on the beach and making out. There is nothing like having sweet nothings whispered in your ear in an Australian accent. And I’ll tell you something ladies, what they say about Australian men is true. Even if we had condoms I don’t think I could’ve had sex with him. He would’ve ripped me in half. Plus, I’ve done some slutty stuff, but sleeping with a random guy the day after sleeping with another random guy is not yet on my list.
When we decided we had to stop, he walked me back to my villa and got my email address. I thought that was sweet even though we both knew we weren’t going to become pen pals.
I have since decided that I want my next husband to be from Australia. Or New Zealand. Or England. So if you know anyone, set me up, I’m probably still single.