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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What to expect when the ex is expecting

You can expect to feel like someone just wiped their ass with you.  At least, that's how I feel.

The man who threw in my face upon leaving me that he never wanted to get married - didn't believe in it - got remarried.  The man who said he didn't want to have kids - because he didn't want to contribute to the human race that is destroying itself - is expecting twins.

It feels less like he didn't believe in marriage and more like he didn't believe in marriage to me.  It feels less like he didn't want to procreate and more like he didn't want to procreate with me.  It feels less like "he did that to me, he'll do it to her" and more like he only did that to me.  It feels less like he made the biggest mistake of his life leaving me and more like I was the biggest mistake of his life.

I feel like everything I told myself to explain why he left isn't true anymore.

I feel like the practice wife, the starter wife, the wife that was thrown away.

I feel like he's not a guy who leaves, he's a guy who just leaves me.


So, now, my fake eyelashes have fallen off (waterproof glue, my ass) and my eyeshadow and mascara have blended together to form what looks Hollywood style black eyes while I cry this bitch out and try to come up with new reasons why he's a giant douche bag fucktard, they're destined to be unhappy with ugly kids, and I'm a perfect and beautiful victim of disaster.

What else did you expect?