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Thursday, June 30, 2011

It's my UNniversary and I'll party if I want to

I have always hated March.  I don't remember why, but it's because of something that happened in high school.  (I think I can safely guess that it had to due with a boy and a broken heart.)  I have decided that I am going to forgive March and hate June instead.  June opens with the day The Ex left and closes with our would've been anniversary (or as I like to call it, my UNniversary).  As much as I've healed and grown and ohmigod I'm so much better off, blah, blah, blah, June still irks me.  I have crazy dreams, disturbed sleep, unexplainable bouts of sadness while watching commercials and I can't figure out what's wrong with me.  And then I's June.  Dun dun duuuuun.

In an effort to turn my inner frown upside down, I look for ways to celebrate those days instead of mourn them.  In the past, I've either had a party or found someone to have sex with.  The sex thing's not happening so much these days (I guess I've come out of my slutty phase) so, a party it is!  Especially considering this year would've been my 10th anniversary.  That's pretty huge.  I had always imagined doing something big (Me?  Make a big deal of something?  Nooooo.  Never!) like renewing our vows or taking a month long vacation or upgrading my diamond.  Instead, I'm being divorced for my big anniversary.  Well, just because he decided to be an unfaithful, lying coward doesn't mean I should suffer, right?  I'm gonna live it up!  Paint the town red!  Or something.

Who knows what might happen?  Maybe I'll meet a handsome stranger and we'll have dirty sex in the bar bathroom, like on Red Shoe Diaries (you know you watched the diaries in high school).  Maybe the handsome stranger will respect me too much to bone me on the first encounter (bleh, respect reschmect) and takes me on a date at which point I will realize he is a total weenie, but has a cute friend so I need to keep him around for opportunity's sake, like on Co-ed Confidential.  Or maybe the handsome stranger will have the decency to bone me on the first encounter and still want to get to know me after, like on Sex and the City (see, I don't only watch Skinemax and Showtime late night).

Mostly likely, none of that will happen.  But a girl can dream.

1 comment:

  1. I really felt you on this blog. Commercials made me sad, so I got rid of the TV. (I'm not ashamed to admit I'm also saddened that you are out of your slutty phase). BOTH, yes... there are 2. Of my ex-wives must have been cut from the same cloth as your turd in shinning armor. Is it just me (and obviously you) with looser radar?