Me: Dude, yesterday was painful. I think my rice went bad. It had a weird sour taste. And my roasted vegetables turned out nasty. I tried just Italian seasoning like you did, but instead of tasting delicious like yours it tasted like dirt and sticks were sprinkled on my veggies. I clearly didn't drown them in enough oil so when I go home I sauteed them with garlic. They only got a little better, not a lot. Sad face. I need meat! Both kinds, if ya know what I mean. This full body detox is really putting a damper on my slutty urges.
Sister: haha, that is awesome! I mean it's not but it is. I made more dumb vegetables last night but I also made some dumb broccoli so at least I'll have a different dumb flavor in my dumb mouth!
Me: hahahaha! I had already added dumb broccoli to my dumb vegetables. I jumped the dumb gun!
Me: P.S. I did not enjoy my turnip. I don't know if I picked a bad one or cut it wrong or maybe it was parsnip I liked last time because my turnip tastes like sour ass. How's yours?
Sister: I'm worried about the turnip. I didn't like the way it smelled when I cut it yesterday...I'm nervous about it. I'll let you know in a bit when I eat it.
Me: It's interesting. I am extremely hungry right now, my stomach was growling a moment ago, but as soon as I start to fork up some salad I become painfully full. I'm beginning to think vegetables are the devil. Maybe I need to start drinking my veggies like the guy in that documentary.
Yep. Just took a bite and it activated my gag reflex. Wretched micro-nutrient rich foods!
Sister (regarding turnip): It tastes like butt cauliflower to me.
Me: Butt cauliflower? As opposed to foot cauliflower? Or fart cauliflower?
Sister: haha, as opposed to regular cauliflower.
Me: Gross. That's the worst kind! haha
Yes, these are the kinds of conversations we have. Sometimes it's like we're drunk, except neither of us has had a drop of alcohol in over 2 weeks.
Tomorrow we get to add back things like rice crackers, rice pasta, rice cakes, oatmeal and other gluten free, bland starches/bread/cereals. I'm pretty impressed that I made it through days 7-13 without getting fired from work/friends/family or life in general.
13 down, 15 to go!