I've been watching reruns of My So Called Life (only one of the best shows ever, cut down in its prime), and its making me think of the hopeless romanticism I used to embody in high school (the early single years). My love life was this giant blank slate, full of possibilities. Every sappy chick flick I watched was just another treasure map leading to my perfect happily ever after. I may have cried through every single one of them, wondering if I would ever get to be the leading lady in my very own real life movie romance, but they were hopeful tears. I didn't know where he was or when I would find him, but my Jordan Catalano was out there...somewhere, like...waiting for me.
And then I found him. And I married him. And I was a walking, breathing chick flick. I got my fairy tale, my movie romance, my happily ever after. Except for the ever after part. Minor detail. So I'm single again. And all my favorite chick flicks are harder to watch now. Even the ones that came out long before I was married! Bridget Jones's Diary is a very different movie viewed through single eyes. Through married eyes, it was like, "Awww, she thought she wanted that man, but the other man was perfect all along, she just didn't know it, but then she realized just in time and still got him, yay!" Through single eyes, it's like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so fat and pathetic. Wait, pause it so I can write down the titles of those books she's throwing away." And it's the same with so many of them.
Some Kind of Wonderful/When Harry Met Sally
Through married eyes: She and her male best friend fell in love, how perfect!
Through single eyes: I don't have a male best friend. I guess I'm screwed.
Through married eyes: I love this movie! I could watch it every day!
Through single eyes: Where's my f@ckin' Jake Ryan?!
Through married eyes (to my single friends): You just never know where you'll find love!
Through single eyes: Yeah, what are the chances that I swap houses with some woman and she happens to have a hot brother who falls in love with me? Pff, please!...I should probably look into it.
Through married eyes (while sobbing): True love is eternal!
Through single eyes: See? All the good ones are dead.
Through married eyes: It's like a modern day Cinderella! Or, Cindafuckinrella! haha, snort, haha!
Through single eyes: Hmm, maybe I should be a hooker.
Romance is more technical for me these days. It's like a party invitation, I want to know who, what, when, where, how? What's the endgame? There are a lot more frogs than princes out there, is he worth the eyeshadow? These are very important questions. The answers will lead me to my very own second fairy tale happily ever after (with the ever after). I mean, you only get married twice, right?