User names like thicknlong4ubaby and hnglkdnky are not going to trick me into thinking you have a big penis. In fact, just the opposite. I am convinced you have a small penis and you're a jackass.
If you say something like, "monetary things don't define me," I can guess with 90% certainty that you are poor. And most likely a slob.
The About Me section of a guy who emailed me: “I love all thing! Love to run a lot!! Love food to much! Lol! Oh well it is tasty,so what can you do! Want to be a great person some day. Hope it happens! That would be great! I like watching movies that don’t suck. So not seeing to many movies lately! Lol!”
Dude, lay off the Redbull.
Another About Me section of a guy who emailed me: “I enjoy a nice evening out for dinner or a show. Maybe have drink and listen to a cool band or d.j. or just relaxn at home watchn a good movie on the sofa or bedroom. Then later have some good erotic sex. I also enjoy winerys.”
Blah, blah, blah, dinner, movie...what was that part before winery?
Dear (lame user name), What is my secret? How am I keeping myself so pretty? Well, gosh, I don't know. I laugh a lot at lines like that; maybe laughter is keeping me young.
Dear (another lame user name), Putting a "wink" after saying you like eating sushi is surprisingly less sexy than you might think.
It's overwhelming, guys. I don't know what else to say, besides: STOP IT!