Dear Santa,
This year all I want
is a tall, handsome man
who is loving and kind,
please do all that you can
to make sure he's smart
and funny and polite,
especially when I keep him
awake through the night
with my burps and my farts
which, of course, he'll adore
along with my temper
and mood swings galore.
He should think that I'm beautiful,
delicate and sweet,
even when I trip
over my own two feet.
He should love chick flicks
and think musicals are great-
oh wait, did I mention
this man should be straight?
Did you get all that, Santa?
Are you up for the task?
I really don't think that
it's too much to ask.
But, if you can't bring me
true love and pure joy,
please then, just bring me
a vibrating toy.
Thanks,
Jen
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