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Monday, December 12, 2011

I dream of meanie

A couple nights ago I had a dream about The Ex.  It was really weird.  We were in a pool in a resort somewhere.  We weren't exactly there together, we were just both there.  I can't really remember what we were talking about.  Something about me being Vice President of his business and his giving me some kind of credit for it.  Random.  Anyway, I noticed a shark in the pool.  A big one.  Just chillin'.  Nobody seemed to mind that it was there, they were just swimming over it and around it, until it wrapped its mouth around a girl's head.  At that point I hopped out of the pool, narrowly escaping the shark's mouth.  Apparently, in my dreams, I have stuntman-like reflexes.

In the past, when I would dream about him, I'd wake up sad and disturbed.  I would immediately research and find out, either through Google or from the horse's mouth, that my ex cat had surgery, my ex grandma-in-law died, he took his girlfriend on a cross country trip, he got engaged and he got married...to name a few. 

This time, I didn't wake up sad or disturbed (except about the shark part) and I didn't find out anything.  Well, I did find out one thing.  That I can't pinpoint the day I got over it.  ("It" being him, the divorce, the pain.)  I didn't wake up one day and realize it the way he woke up one day and realized he wasn't in love with me anymore.  I didn't actively take time to heal or find myself.  I didn't wait for him to come back.  I didn't put my life on hold.  I just be'd.  I just was.  I just am.  And somehow, at some point, I got over it.

I don't know if falling in love again, albeit briefly (ah, Vegas.  Curse you and bless you at the same time), helped me get over it or getting over it allowed me to fall in love again.  Either way, this was the first time I had a dream about The Ex that didn't put me in a funk for the day.  Except for the shark part.

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