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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Nonline dating: Who needs spell check and grammar check when you can just sound stupid instead?

I don't know how many times I need to say it, guys.  Proofread!  I know we all make little mistakes even when we proofread.  Even I have been known to make a mistake or two.  (Shocking, I know.)  But, I am not talking about a few little mistakes, guys.  I am talking about not even knowing how to spell your job title!  Google it!  You're already on the computer, open up a new tab and type the word into Google.  If you have spelled the word wrong, Google will kindly ask you, "Did you mean..." and offer you the correct word.  There's also a website called Dictionary.com that will provide a similar service.  It will even provide you with a definition of the word, in case you've mistaken it's meaning.  Like in the case of this one gentleman who emailed me:

Dear (user name): When you said “I’m a romantic and on the first date we should split the tab 50/50” I think instead of “romantic” you meant to say “cheap bastard.”  I’m gonna guess you’re not getting a lot of returned emails.

You see?  That guy clearly needed the help of both Google and Dictionary.com.  He clearly doesn't know the correct meaning of romantic and he thinks cheap bastard is spelled r-o-m-a-n-t-i-c.

These next three guys need to learn how to use spell check, or consider getting jobs they can spell:

Dear (user name): There is an H in the word 'mecanic'.

Dear (user name): What is munufacturing?  Is it anything like manufacturing?

Dear (user name): You’re a euntrapenure?  Here’s an idea – learn how to spell entrepreneur.

Okay, guys, let me walk you through it.  First, open a word document.  Type the body of your online dating profile.  Click on Tools, then click on Spelling and Grammar.  Once it has finished cleaning up your mess, copy and paste your work to your online dating page.  Or you might get an email like this:

Dear (user name): I’m sorry, but I edited your profile.  “no where” is actually one word.  So is “some one.”  Please omit the second "with" in “with whom you get along with.”  Finally in “nothing to flashy” the “to” should be a “too.”  If you’re going to be poor and boring at least use proper grammar.

Guys, your online dating page is like a resume.  It is our first impression of you.  It is the only representation of who you are besides your picture.  And let's face it, having a good looking picture doesn't matter if you're stupid.  Do you think you would get a job if you sounded like an idiot during the interview?  No, you wouldn't.  And you won't get the girl, either.  Is that what you want?  To be a moron with no job and no girl?  Think about it.  And you're welcome.

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