Pipes and plumbing and plumbers, oh my! Just read Chapter 10 (part 1) first, alright?
Next was the couch. Are you ready to take this journey with me? Our couch, now my couch, has three sections. The two outer sections recline. One day, when I went to recline, I heard a strange sound. Kind of like a snap and a boing. The result of the sound was that the recliner was broken. Of course, my first thought was, The Ex could’ve fixed this. But he’s not here, so I have to fix this. Sonofabitch. (Actually, that was my second thought. My first thought was, “But I’ve lost 18 pounds!”)
I found the warranty card and called the 1-800 number on the back (because that’s what totally capable geniuses do). The woman I spoke to said that the warranty for the parts was still good but the labor warranty was expired. She also said that she needed a model and serial number to be sure it was, in fact, one of their pieces of furniture. She said that there should be a tag under a cushion or on the back somewhere that had the numbers.
The cushions on my couch can’t be removed so there was no looking under them. There was nothing sticking out the back or sides. I checked under the footrest and, again, found nothing. Now what do I do? I guess I could cry for a while. I guess I could ignore it for a while. After a little of each, it occurred to me that I hadn’t checked the footrest on the side that The Ex used to sit (so maybe I’m only a mildly capable genius). Sure enough, in black and white, just the numbers I needed. I called the lady and left her a message with the model and serial numbers.
When she called back, she asked what part was broken. How should I know?
I said, “Well, I know a cable snapped or broke, basically it’s not connected to whatever part it connects to that makes it recline.”
She said, “But what part needs to be replaced? Is it the handle or a spring or something?”
Is she serious? So I said, “I don’t know what part needs to be replaced because I’m not a couch maker. I don’t want to just guess what part is needed. It would be best if you could send someone out here to look at it who would know what part needs to be replaced.”
She said that someone would be calling me to make an appointment to come out and look at it and to remember that my warranty only covers the part, not the labor.
A guy called within a couple days and was able to come over in another couple days. He figured out what part needed to be replaced and told me that because of the holidays (by this time it was almost Christmas) it would take a couple weeks for them to receive the parts and then a couple days for me to receive it after that. I had the part and found someone to attach it by January.So, three months and $65 later, my couch was as good as new. That’s right. It took me three months to get it fixed. Maybe I’m a little slow because I take cry breaks and I don’t know what I’m doing; but I got it done, all by myself, and I was as proud as a new mother.
To be continued...