Follow by Email

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The passion of the party

**Warning: if you are uncomfortable with masturbation and sex toys, do not read this post.  Also, I recommend you find a way to get comfortable with masturbation and sex toys.  You'll be a much happier person.**

I was talking to my friend one day about how sad I was that my dildo broke, only to find out that hers broke too!  We needed to remedy this tragic situation so we went to a store called Not too Naughty.  Unfortunately, it was not too high on variety and not too low in prices.  So we decided to think more globally.  Instead of going to another store for dildos, let's bring the dildos to us and invite all of our best ladies!  My friend found a Passion Party consultant and we sent out invitations.  (And when I say "we sent out invitations", I mean we created an event on facebook.  Because that's how it's done these days.)

We ended up with 12 ladies total.  Not too shabby for an electronic penis party.  I set up chairs around the coffee table where the Passion Diva had set up the toys.  I call it the Dildo Buffet:


 The diva explained and passed around all the items on the table.  When she passed the dildos around she told us to hold them by the shaft with the clit stimulator hitting that soft spot between our thumb and pointer finger so as to get an idea of how it would feel on our lady bits.  Here I am trying it out:


It works really well, too.  One in particular (the one I ended up buying) gave me a handgasm.  Seriously, my hand clit was all kinds of tingly.  I think the smile on my face says it all:


 Like a kid in a candy store, right?  Or, in this case, like a grown up at a dildo buffet.

To add to the excitement, we played a few games.  One was a fake orgasm contest between three of us.  (I won.  I fake a mean orgasm.)  The other was called Lap Dance (it was like a musical chairs version of I Never), where if you've done it you move one seat to the right and if the lady in that seat didn't move you have to give her a lap dance.  The lady who gets back to her original seat first wins.  One of my friends renamed this game Full Circle Whore.  Here are some of the questions:

  • Have you masturbated in the last 10 days?  (Yeah, like 10 times.)
  • Have you ever french kissed a girl?  (I played a lesbian in a play once.)
  • Have you ever had sex on the hood of a car?  (Truck bed - yes.  Back seat - yes.  Hood - no.)
  • Have you ever had sex in a field or stadium?  (Well, it was fieldish.  I figured it counts.)
  • Have you ever had sex on some form public transportation?  (A train in Italy.  The guy that came around to stamp our tickets just stared at us.  I closed my eyes and looked away, as if not being able to see him meant he couldn't see me.  In my head it totally worked.)
  • Have you ever had sex with your man's best friend, current or past?  (I haven't had sex with one of my man's best friends but I've had sex with a good friend's best friend...or two.  I so wasn't trying to sleep my way through his friends, but it kinda looked that way.)
  • Have you ever been handcuffed or blindfolded?  (No.  This surprised my friends.  A few of them yelled, "Jen, you've never been cuffed or blindfolded?!"  To which I replied, "I have a lot of sex with strangers, I don't trust them to do that!")
  • Have you ever participated in a threesome?  (I have some friends that I would never have pegged for three way action.  Apparently, I was wrong about them.  They say it's always the quiet ones...and they are right.)
I can't remember all of the questions, but the sexually adventurous spirit who won said yes to all but one.  It was quite possibly the most fun game I have ever played and one of the most fun parties ever created.  Tupperware, jewelery, candles...eat your heart out!

No comments:

Post a Comment