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Friday, January 6, 2012

The FB rules

A few years ago I scored myself a fuck buddy.

I was in the market for some no nonsense, uncomplicated male companionship, but - unlike some other times in my past- I was looking for this from only one man.  I told this to a friend of mine at a bachelorette party and said she knew a guy that just might fit the profile.  He was recently heart broken and damaged, thus not interested in anything but vagina.  Perfect.  She gave him my number and we started texting (texting: the phone call of the 21st century).

The next night he came over and made dinner (totally above and beyond the call of duty).  We talked, we laughed, we ate, and later we...ya know.  It was awesome.  He went above and beyond the call of duty in a lot of ways, if you know what I mean.  You know what I mean?  You know what I mean.  We knew this could be a lot of fun, but we wanted to keep it that way - just fun.  So we decided to make some rules:

  1. If, at any time, either of us wants more, we have to stop.
  2. We must always use protection
  3. We can sleep with other people, just not on the same day as each other.
  4. No going out in public (we could break this rule if we were in a group of mutual friends, because we actually had mutual friends, but no couply behavior allowed)
  5. Meals can only be eaten together if they are cooked by him at my house and followed by and/or preceded with sex
  6. Movies can only be watched together at my house and must be followed by and/or preceded with sex
  7. No meeting family or friends
  8. No talking about family or friends (with the exception of mutual friends)
  9. No kissing good bye
  10. No sleeping over (this rule could be broken as long as morning sex was implemented)
  11. No cuddling (this rule could be broken if rule #10 was broken)
Some of these rules were specific to us but most of them are good for any set of fuck buddies.  We kept it up (no pun intended) for six months and then I moved.  We had such a good time.  It was all the fun of a relationship without all the bullshit.  I'm in the market for another one.  Or a real boyfriend.  Any takers?

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