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Monday, September 10, 2012

Annoying encounters: 2

I had a date night with my sister recently and towards the end of the evening I got hit on.  She went to the bathroom and a man who looked about 70 years old (I'll admit he couldn't have been 70, but he looked a lot older than my dad, who is 64) took her seat.

Me:  (Practically throwing myself on her chair before he can) Oh, sorry, this seat is taken.

Old Man:  (As he sits in the chair) It's okay, don't panic.

Me:  (With a slightly annoyed smile) My sister is sitting there, see - this is her stuff, she's just in the bathroom.

Old Man:  (Not deterred) I know, I saw her go to the bathroom.  That's why I came over here to talk to you.  I had to tell you, I think you're beautiful.

Me:  I think you look like my grandpa!

Old Man:  (laughing)  I probably do!

Me:  And you smell like him, too!  What is it about old dudes that they all smell the same?

Old Man:  Well, if you can smell it, that's a good thing!

Me:  (What the fuck does that mean?)  Uh, ha ha ha.

Old Man:  Don't worry, I'm harmless.

Me:  (laughing) Oh, I'm pretty sure I could take you down like that (snap my fingers)!

Old Man:  (returned laughter) My 83 year old mother could take me down like that!

Me:  (courtesy laughter while hoping we're finally done)  Oh, there's my sister!  Nice meeting you.

He could've walked by, tapped me on the shoulder, said, "Hey, you're beautiful" and then went on his way like sweet old men do, but he actually waited for my sister to leave and then sat down and made himself comfortable!  A behavior more suited to creepy old men.  He had balls, though.  Gotta give him that.

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