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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Chapter 18, or My kick-ass divorce party (day 2)

*It'll make more sense if you read day 1 first*

The rest of the girls started arriving after cocktail hour Friday night, and in no time there were six of us curling hair, picking out dresses and shoes and mixing drinks and it was perfect.  I gave each of them a button that said “Jen’s kick-ass divorce party”, put on my sash and buttons, grabbed the bag of divorce chocolates and we were off.
The plan was to go to karaoke and then dancing.  I had seen this place with karaoke signs but had never been in.  It was up an escalator next to an outdoor bar that sold colorful blended drinks in yards.  We got a few of those and headed upstairs.  The place was packed.  Anne and I each put in a song and the KJ said there was about an hour wait.
There was a bride and groom at the table next to us.  The bride saw my button and said, “My brother is single!  I’ll send him over!”  Her brother came over to our table and starting chatting with us, not quite sure why he was sent over.  Then he saw my button and gave me a big hug.
“I’m so sorry!  That’s so sad, I’m so sorry!”  He said.
“The button doesn’t say hug!”  I said.
Then my girls started yelling at him to kiss me.  And he did.  He put his arms around me and kissed me hard on the mouth and then he dipped me over the chair and gave me some tongue.  It was awesome.  I could hear woo hoos and cameras clicking…and not just from my friends.  All the tables around us were watching.  Gosh, I just hate being the center of attention!
Finally it was our turn.  Anne sang, then I sang (and we were the best ones, of course).  It was pretty late by then so we left.  We went back to the outdoor bar that sells frosty yards and got a few more of those…and a few more kisses.  One of my friends has a friend who spins in Vegas and could supposedly get us into some club for free.  It was at Mandalay Bay, which was at the complete other end of the strip.  A taxi would’ve been a wise choice, but in our drunkenness we decided it was a good idea to walk.  On the way I got a kiss from a guy with a multicolored Mohawk and skinny leather pants with chains.  Each guy that gave me a kiss was given a divorce chocolate.  And if we walked by people who thought my sash was cool they got a divorce chocolate too.  And if we walked by a guy who didn’t kiss me, I would scream at him to “OBEY THE BUTTON!” 
At one point Kimmy said, “Maybe you shouldn’t scream at people.” 
I screamed at her, “MAYBE YOU SHOULD DRINK MORE!” and shoved the yard in her face.
We came across a small group of young guys who were there for a bachelor party.  The bachelor was 21.  He obeyed the button and his friends took pictures.  I told him I felt sorry for whomever he was marrying and walked on.  (Perhaps I was too harsh on the guy.  I mean, all he did was kiss a divorcee; it’s not like he had a stripper on his lap or anything.  But at the time, I was seeing the world through divorce colored glasses.) 
We had been walking forever and had gotten nowhere.  We finally just got a taxi back to the Venetian and went to the Grand Lux where we ordered a bunch of appetizers and the most delicious strawberry martinis in the world.  There was a super gorgeous guy at the table next to us and I wanted to talk to him.
 I said to my sister, “Kimmy, give me a reason to talk to that guy.” 
She said, “I’ll give you one hundred cool points if you talk to him.”  (If you’ve ever heard of strip Happy Days game, you’ll know what I’m talking about.)
Done.  He was from Chicago.  He was in Vegas with his friend and his friend’s wife and their single girl friend.  Supposedly he was not shacking up with the single girl friend so I was hoping to get my kiss on.
As I worked on him, my friends slowly started drifting back to the hotel room and by 5am Kimmy and Ailene were the only ones left.  They were ready for bed too and I thought this was the perfect opportunity for Chicago and me to have one of those adventures people have in the movies.  You know, where two people meet and stay up all night and either fall in love or have sex or both?  I was all ready for my movie romance to start but he wanted to go to bed.  Alone.  He hugged me good-bye a bunch of times. What’s with the hugging?  Hugs are for condolences, and hellos and goodbyes from family and friends not from gorgeous strangers in the romantic movie in my head.
I got a total of seven kisses that night, none of which were from Chicago.

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