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Friday, September 23, 2011

Chapter 13, or The show must go on

           My friend Lyne is a writer.  A very good writer.  She wants me to say she is an amazing writer, and as she spent countless hours editing this thing, I will appease her.  She is quite amazing, and wrote a show called My Totally 80’s Reunion.  Perhaps you’ve seen it?  It is a dinner theater show (or as they in the biz call it, “interactive theater”) where we, the actors, are the reunion committee for a high school reunion (which we named Valley High School so that the initials are VHS.  Get it, like the tape.  So 80’s, right?) And the audiences are the reunion guests.  We sing and dance and mingle with the audience.  The characters are the jock, the prom queen, the preppy, the nerd, the stoner, the valley girl, the band geek, and I play the head cheerleader (shocking, right?).  It’s super fun and couldn’t have come along at a better time.  It’s good to have friends who write shows and then ask you to be in them without making you audition or prove in any way that you’re talented.
            The best and worst part about the show is the director.  He’s the hottest man I’ve ever seen in real life.  He’s so hot I want to cry.  He’s so hot I would reconsider my stance on having kids just to have his babies.  The funny thing is, after meeting him I told Lyne how dreamy I thought he was and she laughed and said, “You’ve met him before!”  How I could forget meeting a guy that delicious is beyond me.  I mean, I was married when I met him but I still had eyes. 
He is the best part because he makes for great eye candy and something to fantasize about later, if you know what I mean.  He’s the worst part because I want to bone him and I can’t.  It’s like torture!  The reasons I can’t bone him are partly because we work together and mostly because he doesn’t want to bone me.  But that last part can be taken care of by feeding him a little Jose Cuervo, no?  No. I tried that and it didn’t work.
            We had a show on New Year’s Eve [2008] and it was my first single New Year’s Eve so I told all the guys in the cast that they had to kiss me at midnight.  But, really, it was Operation: Get Hot Director to Kiss Me.  So at midnight, I went to all the guys for my kisses and saved Hot Director for last.  He was sitting down and I went up to him and said, “Are you ready?”  My clumsy sexiness was totally wasted on him, but whatever.  I got my kiss.  Then, when we were all leaving, I made him kiss me goodbye.  I got two kisses from Hot Director!  It seriously made my New Year’s.  Is that sad?  That’s sad isn’t it?

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