DiscomBOOBulated

I discovered recently that my boobs are lopsided.  It's hard enough being single, you gotta be skinny and pretend to enjoy outdoor activities and have white teeth.  Now I gotta do all that with lopsided boobs?  One has always been bigger than the other.  If I have to have such small boobs (that swim around in the giant padded bras where I hide them), can't they at least be even?  The left one can practically fit inside the right one.  My right areola is almost bigger than my entire boob.  It's ridiculous, really.  And now, I noticed that the right one hangs lower than the left one.  It's sagging!  Isn't the only benefit of having small boobs that they're perky?  Who ever heard of small and saggy boobs?  I don't stand a chance!  I guess it's a good thing that men don't love and obsess over boobs.  Oh, wait...